That gamer girl that told a dude getting on her „I’m gonna f**k your dad and get pregnant so I can give him a son he’ll love“ (paraphrasing obviously).

Ist it? Can you laugh about it?

Quite nice: I found out my girlfriend really is aghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

To balance it a bit:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes .. she hugged me.

to/on Rolls Royce:

You might get that (to the cartoon about dad and motherf…)

So get that:

„Every biological dad is a motherf…, but not evey motherrf… is a dad“

Don’t get confused.

Sie haben da einen Hydranten im Auto:

On Duolingo:

After

several

recent

issues

with

customers

, 

my

husband

Vikram

and

I

are instituting

the

following

rules

for

our

bakery

.

If

you’re

asking

yourself

, „Do 

I

have to

follow

them

?“ 

the

answer

is

yes

.

First of all

our

bakery

is

not

a

free

workspace

.

You

can’t

just

buy

one

donut

in the

morning

and

use

our

free

Wi-Fi

until

closing

, 

Bea

.

Secondly

, 

no one

is allowed

in

the

kitchen

except for

Vikram

and

Lin

.

Junior

, 

you

cannot

come

into

the

kitchen

to

taste

the

fresh

cookies

 „

for

quality control

.“

Thirdly

, 

our

oven

is

only

for

food

.

Oscar

, 

you

can’t

use

it

for

your

pottery

anymore

.

I’d

honestly

rather

not

have

our

cupcakes

taste

like

clay

!

Finally

, 

no

, 

Eddy

, 

Vikram

Vikram

is not

opening

the

bakery

two

hours

early

anymore

just

so

you

can

have

a

croissant

before

you

run

at

6

a.m.

If

you

have

any

questions

, 

don’t

ask

Vikram

!

He

is

too

nice

to

say

no

, 

but

I

will

happily

deny

any

of your

requests

.

and copying it that way, makes it even funnier …

Schon amüsant, man kritisiert die dt. Fußballnationalmannschaft, wählt aber SPD und CDU im Wechsel oder zusammen in die Regierung.